Going Gluten Free

A few years ago I read “Wheat Belly” by Dr. William B. Davis. As a result, I tossed all the wheat flour I had in the house and cleaned out the freezer. I had a cake made with wheat flour in the freezer, which I took to a potluck several days later.

When I went to the potluck, I’d been gluten free for a week or so. I decided to have two tiny pieces of cake. One piece from the cake I’d taken out of my freezer, and one piece from a cake a young woman had brought. I’d put a different frosting on the one I’d brought than I usually did and wanted to try it. The other one was a homemade Tiramisu cake. Within minutes I felt like I was being sand papered internally. That’s when I knew that taking gluten out of my diet was a good decision for me.

Over time, I noticed other changes as well. Starting with the loss of eight (8) pounds. While I did gain it back, the fact that I lost it without doing anything else, told me even more that gluten was bad for me.

I think the biggest and most surprising change for me was my desire for sugar. It has become less. I still enjoy certain sugary treats, but I don’t crave sugar as much as I used to. Not only that, but some things I used to enjoy are now too sweet for me. For instance, “Kind” bars which are a nut or fruit and nut bar, sometimes with dark chocolate are something I really enjoy. My two favorites used to be, Dark Chocolate Cherry Cashew or Apricot Almond. Now, if I eat either of those flavors, all I can taste is sugar! Bleah! Thankfully they make other flavors I really like. My two current favorites are Dark Chocolate Chili Almond and Sea Salt Maple Pecan.

Last, but not least, I find that I’m more sensitive to artificial flavors. I used to absolutely love “Buttered Popcorn” flavored Jelly Belly candy. The last time I bought a small bag, all I could taste was the artificial flavor. I ate the whole bag thinking that at some point they’d taste as I remembered, but they didn’t.

I did try an organic spelt bread, thinking that maybe it was just the chemicals used to process standard wheat. It didn’t matter. I still felt sand papered internally, even though it wasn’t as strong.

Overall, I’m glad I chose to go gluten free. Despite gaining back the weight, my tolerance for sugar has gone down and real food tastes better than it did before. I also find that my hunger is more easily satisfied and I don’t get hungry as easily as I did when I ate products containing gluten.

I’m not saying this is for everyone, but it helped me.

Nagging God

 

Sometimes I feel like I nag God. “I keep telling him “we need . . .” or “we want . . .” There are even times when I feel like I’m being a whiny bitch. Or times when I say, “Not that I’m ungrateful for what I have, I am grateful, but . . .”

Then as I was reading my Bible one night, I came across a story in the book of Luke. In Luke 18:1-7 a widow goes before a judge seeking legal protection against her opponent. At first the judge refuses, but she keeps going to him to ask for justice. Finally he says to himself, “If I don’t give her legal protection, she won’t leave me alone.”

The Bible goes on to say how serious are we about our prayers to God? Are we asking daily or are we asking once or twice and then leaving it alone? God wants to know we’re serious. That doesn’t mean He’ll grant every request, but if you keep asking you will receive an answer. He may say, “Yes” or “No” or “Not right now.” He may even say, “The answer is on the way.”

There’s another example of perseverance in prayer in the book of Daniel. In Daniel 10, we read that Daniel had been mourning and fasting for three (3) weeks while waiting for a response from God. When he finally got an answer, he learned that God had dispatched the messenger the moment Daniel set his heart on understanding and on humbling himself before the Lord. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia had withstood him until Michael came to help him.

Now the messenger didn’t tell him that he’d been nagging God. In fact, he said that Daniel was a “man of high esteem.” Daniel 10:11 (NAS)

After reading what God said about persevering in prayer, I was much encouraged. You see, my roommate and I have been praying for something for a few years now. I admit, I haven’t always prayed about it daily.  After all, I didn’t want to be a nag. After reading the passages in Daniel and Luke though, I got more serious about that request and others.

I know now that if I want God to take my requests seriously, then I need to seriously be on my knees praying. I need to be like the widow who refused to allow the judge to give her justice.

One last thought, when we pray for something, we need to be prepared to accept His answer. I once prayed about something I truly needed. I finally realized that I needed to pray for the situation in a specific way. When I did, the answer I received made me wonder if God had lost His marbles and the universe wasn’t aware of it. When I finally learned to trust that God knew what He was saying when He gave me the answer I needed, my life improved in ways that I can’t write here. 

Transgender Restroom Usage

 

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on Facebook about transgender people wanting to use the restroom for the gender they believe they are, rather than the one they are born as.

Just allow me to say that I have nothing against transgender people. Everyone I’ve ever met has been kind and considerate.

Having said that, I do have problems with sharing the bathroom with them. My problem isn’t so much transgender people as it is the abusers who would take advantage of such a situation by pretending to be transgender to gain access to potential victims.

I say this from two perspectives:

1)    As an adult survivor of childhood sexual, physical, & emotional abuse

2)  As a parent

Being a survivor of abuse, I understand the emotional damage just one incident can cause.

As a parent, I find it frightening that an abuser would use a situation like this to target a child. When my son was younger and needed the restroom in public, I’d stand nearby ready to rush in if needed. At times I felt like I was “stalking” the men’s room even though I knew I was just being a good parent. Thankfully, nothing ever happened. However, I shudder to think what could happen to innocent children when transgenders are allowed to use the restroom of their emotional gender rather than their birth gender. I don’t blame them for wanting to be safe, but I do blame the bullies and perverts for making this whole discussion necessary.

In locker rooms there’s also the issue of making someone uncomfortable. I know I would not feel comfortable changing clothes in front of a man or taking a shower after working out, etc.

It seems to me that the best and simplest way to solve this is to make single stall gender neutral bathrooms and changing rooms available in addition to the regular men’s and women’s versions. This way transgenders have a safe space to do what they need without infringing on someone else’s rights and abusers have no reason to enter the restroom of “their” choice.

A Non - Biblical Look at Gay Marriage and Abortion

Several days ago as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I saw a meme on a friend’s timeline about people being against stem cell research, gay marriage, and abortion. The idea was that no one could come up with non-biblical objections. I looked at it and thought, I don’t know anything about stem cell research, but I could come up with non-biblical objections to gay marriage and abortion. Then I moved on. Partly because I wasn’t sure I was ready to tackle that and partly because I wanted to see what else was going on in my friends’ lives. I couldn’t get it out of my mind though. So I went back to my friend’s timeline to look for it. After scrolling through the prior six days posts and not finding it, I decided I’d have to answer it here.

I’ll start with gay marriage. When you look at the way men and women are made, it’s pretty obvious (to me, anyway) that their bodies are meant to fit together. A man has a penis which fits nicely into a woman’s vagina. However, if two men come together, there is no natural place for them to insert their penis. They have to use the anus, which was not meant for that. Not only that, but to use the anus you must use some kind of lubricant as the body will not produce its own for that purpose.

If two women come together, they have their vaginas, but no penis to insert into either. For them to have any kind of sex life, they must use their hands, mouths, or toys designed for that purpose.

The physical builds of the two genders alone tell me that two people of the same sex should not marry.

There is one more reason though – children. If a gay couple want children, they must seek outside help. They must either adopt, hire a surrogate mother or in the case of two women, one or both could use a sperm donor’s sperm to get pregnant. There is no way for two people of the same gender to get one another pregnant.

This brings me to the subject of abortion. I’ve heard for a long time that it’s a woman’s body, therefore it should be her choice. I’ve never understood that. Especially since as I mentioned above, it takes two people, a man and a woman to get a woman pregnant. So, the baby is comprised of DNA from two people, not just one. Not only that, the baby only occupies a woman’s body for approximately 9 months. It’s not like a cancer that will eventually kill you. It’s another human being comprised of DNA from two people, not just one.

I did ask someone once, how it was “a woman’s body when it takes a man to get her pregnant.” She refused to answer at first because I’m clearly a Christian. I told her that I hadn’t mentioned the Bible: I’d simply asked a question. She told me it was too complicated to explain.

I know, you’re probably asking, “what if the couple used birth control and still got pregnant?” Well, we all know that birth control is not 100% guaranteed, unless a man has a vasectomy or a woman has a hysterectomy. A woman getting her tubes, “cut, tied, and fried” as one friend of mine used to say, isn’t an absolute guarantee. I’ve heard that in rare cases, the body heals the tubes or grows new ones. As for the pill, I’ve personally known two women who got pregnant while on it. Condoms, sponges, contraceptive jelly, and diaphragms can all fail. If you have sex, even with birth control, there’s always a risk of getting pregnant. It only takes one sperm getting through.

I also think that abortion for the sake of convenience to the woman, is ultimately selfish. You may not want the baby, but there are hundreds, if not thousands of couples who can’t have children on their own and would love to have an infant. They would gladly adopt the unwanted babies that so many people abort.

There are however, two reasons for which I do understand getting an abortion. The first would be medical. If the mother’s life is in danger because of the pregnancy or if the baby won’t survive.

If the baby isn’t going to live, then I don’t think a woman should be forced to carry it till it dies.

Here’s a link to a story about a woman whose child wasn’t going to survive: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/04/07/the-hardest-abortion-i-ve-ever-had-to-perform.html

I also read a story recently in which a woman was forced to carry her baby till it died, because she was more than 14 weeks pregnant. If a doctor can tell a woman with certainty that her baby isn’t going to survive outside the womb, then I think the decision about what to do, should be up to her.

The other situation in which I can understand having an abortion is rape. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but it happens and in some cases a woman gets pregnant as a result. In that case, I can certainly understand and accept it if a woman wants an abortion. I would hope, however, that she would carry the baby to term and if she doesn’t want it, give it up for adoption. It would be a way to have something wonderful come from something awful.

So, for those of you seeking non-biblical answers to these questions, those are my answers.

Blamed for Speaking Up

I’ve known for a long time that victims of abuse or bullying are often not believed. I was a victim of both myself. When my mother learned that her second husband had sexually abused me and one of my brothers, not only did she believe us, she reassured us that it wasn’t our fault. For that, I will be forever grateful.

However, there were times in my life when I was the victim of bullying, but no one believed me when it was reported. The first incident was pretty minor. I was in the third grade. We’d gone outside for recess and at the end of it had lined up to wait for our teacher to lead us back to the classroom. As we were waiting, I saw a nice rock and picked it up. Another girl in my class, Nancy, saw the rock in my hand. She told me that we weren’t supposed to throw rocks. I told her that I wasn’t going to throw it; that I wanted to keep it. She then slapped my hand forcing me to drop the rock.  When we got back to class, both of us got a sheet of scrap paper and wrote down what happened for the teacher. She read both stories and then sent me to the principal’s office.  When I got there, I didn’t bother to defend myself. If my teacher didn’t believe me, why would I think he might?

The second incident happened when I was in the sixth grade. I was walking along a path in the schoolyard after school. It was later than usual, so it was just me. As I was walking down the path, I heard a noise and looked up. A couple of boys were up above me on the path. I didn’t think anything of it at first, until they started throwing rocks at me. I turned and ran. Unfortunately, one of the rocks hit me in the temple cutting me. I then turned and ran to the school office to get help. The secretary took care of me and then called my mother. At the time, I didn’t know either boy’s name, so was unable to tell her who had thrown the rocks. A few days later I was in the office for another reason when I saw a picture of one of the boys on the school secretary’s desk. I said, “Miss Letty, that’s one of the boys who chased me and threw rocks at me!”

She said, “Who Keith? He’s a nice boy. He wouldn’t do that.” I was so surprised and disappointed.

The worst one though was when a neighborhood boy threatened to beat me with a baseball bat if I talked to his mother about something else he'd done earlier in the day. When I finally did get to talk to her, she told me that "Boys would be boys." 

In other words, she didn't take his threat to me seriously. That really bothered me, but I couldn't do anything more. Years later that "boy" would be in and out of jail several times.

My point with all this is that when victims aren’t believed or taken seriously, the damage is multiplied. They’re taught that there’s no reason to speak as no one will believe them anyway. This also leaves the victim feeling like s/he must have done something wrong to bring this on. That somehow it’s the victim’s fault. This just makes it easier for someone else to victimize or hurt that person.

These incidents are minor compared to what a lot of women go through. It never ceases to amaze me the things men are allowed to get away with because they’re men and they "can’t control themselves." I call Bullshit on that idea. Men can be taught to respect women. Men can be taught that women are worthy of respect. That women are not simply sexual objects put here on earth to satisfy their every whim.

The worst part is and always has been to me, the fact that men can run around shirtless and no one says a thing. If a woman, on the other hand, so much as exposes a bit of cleavage, or nurses a baby in public, she’s considered a slut or an exhibitionist. If women wear clothing that could be considered the least bit provocative, she’s giving “permission” for any man to fondle her if he gets close enough. We as a society blame women for the way men behave. We don’t seem to realize that men have a responsibility to control their actions. That they don’t have the right to fondle any woman, regardless of how she’s dressed. 

In closing, I have included links to other blogs about victim blaming. One is simply a history of that woman’s encounters with violence and how it affected her. The other is about a young woman who was literally put into foster care for rebelling against her mother’s religion, after being called a liar for speaking up when an elder in that religion abused her. You may need to copy and paste the links into your browser.

http://bellejar.ca/2015/12/03/being-a-girl-a-brief-personal-history-of-violence/

https://www.yahoo.com/news/happened-mom-dumped-foster-care-160000998.html

Losing Your Passion

I’ve been a writer off and on since childhood. I remember writing a story when I was about 10 years old. I read it to my mother hoping for some encouragement. My timing was pretty poor as she was absorbed in some task of her own, so she didn’t pay much attention. What really started me writing though, was a notice in the local paper about a poetry contest they were holding. I immediately sat down and wrote a couple of poems in a steno pad. I never entered them and after reading the winning entry about a string of pearls, I was glad I hadn’t. I kept writing poetry, then someone gave me a tiny journal, with a lock on it. I wrote in that for a long time.  I remember writing about the young man I was dating. Eventually I read the entries in that journal then burned the whole thing in the fireplace. I didn’t want to be reminded about the cretin I’d dated.

Over the years I’ve come to realize that I write because I must. I’ve written poetry to express feelings that I often felt like I didn’t have any other outlet for. I’ve kept a journal off and on as a way to process and download whatever was bothering me. These days I still keep a journal, I’m trying to keep on top of this blog, and I’m working on several stories.

Several years ago, I realized that for me, writing is a passion. There are a lot of things I love to do, such as baking or blowing glass, but writing is a must do. If I don’t, I don’t sleep well then I get cranky.

Recently though, I felt myself losing my passion for writing. At first I thought it was just lack of space. My desk is always cluttered despite the fact that I do try to clear it off. Then I realized it was more than that.

It was also my roommate’s retirement. I had put a sign on my door that read, “Please Do Not Disturb.” He took it as a polite request. I tried, “Don’t Even Think of Disturbing Me.” That didn’t work either. Neither did a sign I found on Facebook that read, “WARNING! WRITER AT WORK! By Penalty Of Death Of Your Favorite Character Do Not Enter Except In Case Of Real Emergency. Things That Constitute A Real Emergency:

The House Is On Fire

The Zombie Apocalypse Has Begun

Lunch Is Ready”

My son took one look and said that I didn’t make lunch for anyone. I said that it was in case he made me lunch. That didn’t work either. Finally I made my own sign for the door that reads:

“IF THE DOOR IS CLOSED, DO NOT DISTURB IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!! (DON’T SPEAK, TAP, KNOCK, OR IN ANY WAY DISTURB THE WRITER AT WORK). If the door is cracked open, then it’s okay to disturb me.”

This sign works for the most part. Only twice has it been violated. The first time my roommate found some cherry brandy in the cupboard that I bought for baking a long time ago. He tried it and a minute later was knocking on my door to tell me that it him hard. When he was done I made it clear that there were to be no more interruptions.

The second time it happened he couldn’t find some leftovers he wanted in the fridge. I pulled open the door like I wanted to yank it off the hinges. I gave him that look and showed him the leftovers while he apologized.

The other problem has been that with his retirement, I’m aware of his presence, even with the door closed. For a while I insisted that he get out of the house; daily if possible. Then I realized that wasn’t fair to him. I started looking at ways for me to go somewhere else to work for a couple of days a week. I looked at one place for writers. The problem was that it didn’t open till noon and riding the bus took at least an hour to get there. By the time I could get there, I’d be lucky to have three hours in which to work, before I had to come home. That’s when I realized that my local library had study rooms and a quiet area. Not only that, but it’s open by 10:00 a.m. and only half an hour by bus. So, that solved that problem.

That still didn’t solve my seeming lack of desire to write. That’s when I finally realized that I’m being inundated with information on how to make money as a freelance writer. I kept looking at the information and thinking, “I should try that. I could really use the money.” I finally realized that writing purely for money wasn’t for me.

Now that I’ve realized what’s really been bothering me, I’m ready to work on my stories again. 

Blue Collar Jobs

I’m at the library today as it gets me out of the house and gets me some truly undisturbed space in which to work. As I was walking here from the bus, I saw a “We’re Hiring” sign on a nearby construction project. The plumbing company working on the project wants an experienced plumbing apprentice. My first thought was how do you get experience if no one will give you a job?

Then I realized there was a bigger question. How many people want that type of work anymore? It’s honest work and from what I’ve heard, once you get through an apprenticeship, you can make good money. As good as or possibly better than some people who’ve gone to college to work in “white collar jobs.”

In the last several years, I’ve seen a big push for people to go to college or some kind of extra schooling above and beyond K – 12. The idea is that if you go to college or a training school of some sort, you will come out able to get a good job that earns more money than you could without the extra training. What they don’t tell you in the advertising is that no one can guarantee that you will get a job in your field of choice. Not only that, but in some cases you come out of school in debt. The lenders are only too happy to lend you money with the promise that you don’t have to start paying it back till six months after graduation. By then, you could be several thousand, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, depending on the degree you chose.

There are ways to avoid the debt. Grants and/or scholarships can help. Also, going to school part-time as you can afford to pay for classes.

But what about those for whom college is not an option? I’m not talking financially, but I’ve known people for whom college was not a good fit. One worked at a fast food restaurant, one worked security, and a couple of others I knew worked in warehouses. I know, some people think fast food is for high schoolers only. Well, guess what. For fast food to be open in the mornings for breakfast and lunch, adults must work those shifts as all the high schoolers are in school! Yet, we as a people look down on those jobs as being less than worthy of our attention and labor. Those kinds of jobs are good, honest work and the people who do them are worthy of their wages. In fact, they should be able to make a living wage at those jobs without going into management.

The same applies to plumbers, electricians, mechanics, etc. Any job that can be taught on the job, is worth doing. Without the people doing those jobs, a lot of the things we depend on would completely fall apart. Think about it. If a pipe bursts in your house, can you fix it yourself or do you need to call a plumber? What about your electrical wiring? If your breaker box blows, what are you going to do? Can you do more than check the oil and water or pump gas into your car? If not, how do you take care of those things? I know it’s easy to look down on people who do manual labor and to look down on those kinds of jobs.

I’ve also learned from our electrician that with all the training and classes he’s taken to stay on top of the new stuff in his field, he figures he’s earned at least a master’s degree in his field. From all the certificates I've seen on the wall at the auto mechanic's  shop, I'd say they've earned at least an Associates degree if not a Bachelors for their job as well. These people are constantly taking classes in an effort to keep up with the changes in technology. I suspect that’s true for anyone in the plumbing field too. Think about that the next time you want to complain about how much it costs to have someone perform a labor intensive, “no college degree” job.

Also think about this. This country was founded by people who had to labor with their hands and the help of their neighbors to build houses, barns, corrals, etc. Small business sprang up to provide goods and services people couldn’t provide for themselves. Very few people had a college degree. Some were lucky if they had any schooling at all. While I’m not discounting the value of a good basic education, I think we need to quit devaluing work that doesn’t require a college degree or requires someone to get their hands dirty. I also think we need to quit pushing higher education as if it were the answer to everyone’s job problems.