An Open Letter to the Church or Why I Think People Choose to Be Atheist or Agnostic

            Recently I decided to write letters to the various people who have hurt me in one way or another. In part this was inspired by my “#MeToo” story, which I shared in previous blogs. 


http://wfwoodbury.blogspot.com/2017/11/me-too.html
http://wfwoodbury.blogspot.com/2017/11/me-too-part-ii.html (Don't why this one isn't showing up as a link, but you should be able to copy and paste into your address bar. My apologies for any inconvenience.)

 It was a way for me to say the things I’ll probably never get to say in person and even if by some miracle I did, I have serious doubts about getting an apology of any sort from those people. One of the letters I wrote was to the church body in general. There have been several people who claim to be “Christian” that have come at me with judgmental attitudes about my life. A few I went to church with, some I met or interacted with on Facebook.

            So, here goes.

           

            Dear “Christians,”

            As I look around at our flawed world I see a church that has become content. Content with what they have in the church. Content with going to Sunday service, content with the teaching, and most of all content with their place in that neat orderly world. They think they know who God is and what He wants.

            I see things differently, however. I see a church that has allowed the world in through music and an unwillingness to tackle controversial subjects. I see a form of Godliness, but no real power.

            More than that, I see judgmental attitudes. Yes, you the “Christian” church often come off as judgmental. As a result I’m beginning to understand why people choose to be atheistic or agnostic. Too often the church in its “holy righteousness” judge people, unsaved and saved alike. You act like you know it all and if people don’t conform to your standard, they’re in the wrong.

            When Jesus walked the earth, he accepted and loved people where they were at. The only ones he chewed out were the leaders. He called them, “whited sepulchers” meaning they were clean on the outside, but filthy dirty on the inside.

            So, what makes it right for you to judge others? I’m asking because I’ve been judged by people who called themselves “Christian.”

            In one case, I’m sure the woman saw herself as “an older, more mature Christian” guiding another woman in the ways of the Bible on the issue of modesty. I had commented on a post about something Christian related. At the time, my profile picture showed me on our front porch wearing a sports bra. My breasts were covered with only a hint of cleavage. Apparently that wasn’t good enough for her.

            Shortly after commenting I received a message from her telling me that when I comment on a Christian related post, I should be more covered up than I was in the picture. She didn’t ask me why I had that set as my profile picture. If she had, I’d have told her that it was in hopes that people would notice the scar on my chest and ask questions about it.

            When I told her that I didn’t see anything wrong with my picture and that she hadn’t asked me “why” that picture, she sent me a list of scriptures regarding nudity. I looked them up and answered according to what was going on in each situation.

            Her response? “Oh, my Bob! Talk about twisting scripture.”

            I’m not kidding. That’s what she said. I stopped messaging at that point as I could see it was pointless. We had very different views of Biblical modesty.

            Then there was a status written by another Christian on Facebook. He wrote that as long as he wasn’t sinning, the devil couldn’t pick on him. I asked if he’d read the book of Job.

            The next thing I know, another of his friends is telling me how she’s been a Christian for many years and that she knew more than I did. I told her she didn’t know me so she shouldn’t presume that she was older in Christ than me and therefore knew more. End of friendship.

             I see now that he and his friends didn’t like having their concepts challenged, but rather than have a civil discussion, they acted all high and mighty.

            David, my roommate and I attended one last church we’d heard about it through a mutual friend for a few weeks. I quit going before he did in large part because the music was too loud. I’d sit in the back of the building and I could still hear the music. What I couldn’t hear was the praise team or even the congregation singing.

            A few weeks after I quit going, I heard my name called at Costco. I turned around and saw a woman from the church with her husband. After the usual greetings, she asked me why I’d quit coming to church. When I told her how I felt about the music, she reminded me of the scripture which says to make a joyful noise unto the Lord.

           

            I told her that didn’t mean blast the music so loud that people are afraid of having their hearing damaged. I also told her that I could sit in the back of the building and still hear the instruments.

            Then she told me she could feel the presence of God in the music. Given that what churches are often playing these days is rock music with a Christian label, I have serious doubts about that. I started to tell her that I have my own sensitivity to God, but she cut me off. Started telling me that I needed to start praying and developing a relationship with God.

            At that point I cut her off. I said, “You don’t know anything about me or my relationship with God, so don’t tell me what I need to be doing.”

            I think I surprised her, but she backed down. What bothered me most was that the moment I dared to disagree and/or contradict her, she wanted to shut me down and be all “I’m holier than you.”

            What I didn’t tell her was the other reason I quit attending that church. When we started going there, I noticed a box for donations to a homeless organization. That really impressed me. A church that worked with a homeless organization? Wonderful! Then I saw how at least one person really felt about the homeless.

            A homeless woman walked in one morning before service started, got a cup of coffee, and sat at a table. I went over and asked if I could sit with her. She said, “Yes.”

            She asked me what the place was. When I told her it was a church, she looked around and said, “Oh, I thought this was a coffee shop.”

             I assured her that it was a church and she was welcome to stay. We started talking and she told me that she was on her way to meet someone. She’d been walking, got tired, saw the church, and came in to rest. I had some bus tickets on me, so I gave her a few to help her get around.

            At one point, she got up and went into the sanctuary during the worship service as she enjoyed worshipping. While she was gone, one of the men who ensured security came over and asked me what she wanted. I was surprised! After all, didn’t this church work with an organization that helped the homeless? But one shows up and rather than making her feel welcome, he came to me and asked why she was there.

            Even after I explained why she was there, he made no real effort to welcome her. In fact, other than the greeter at the door, I think I was the only one to make an effort interact with her.

            This made me feel as if people couldn’t just walk in off the street and come into church simply to rest their weary bodies or enjoy the service.

            With the average Christian running around acting all “holier than thou” when someone challenges their ideas about Christianity, it’s no wonder people are turning away from God.

            This doesn’t even begin to cover the “holier than thou” attitudes I see towards the gay community. If we as Christians can’t learn to love one another and the people of the world, then we’re in serious trouble. I don’t see the love of God in the way these people behaved towards me and given that I know they probably behave that way with the average person, then it’s no wonder the church as it stands is reviled and people are turning away. We brought it on ourselves.

P.S. One last thought. If it were not for the fact that I’ve believe in God since I was a young girl and have seen too many things in my life at this point to not believe; I think I’d have walked away from “Christianity,” too after being treated that way by those people.