I Was An Emotional Prostitute Part 7

We didn’t become sexually involved until several weeks after I moved out of mother and Bill’s house for the first time. Andrew came to my apartment one night to tell me he wanted to make love to me. He was torn though. Andrew wasn’t completely convinced it was right for us to do so, even we were planning to be married. He asked me how I felt. I was sitting on my bed. I held out my hand to him and drew him to me. We had sex for the first time that night in my twin bed. The next night we went to his apartment as he had a full size bed. After that, sex was a regular part of our relationship and I regretted ever allowing it to happen.

Unfortunately for me, Andrew wasn’t exactly the most considerate of lovers. There were two occasions when our sexual activity nearly got us in trouble, despite my saying something to him about it.

The first time was at his apartment. Andrew’s mattress had a tendency to slide one way or the other during our sexual activity. On one occasion, the mattress had shifted to such an extent that I was hanging over the edge of it myself at such an angle that I was scared we’d roll off the bed and into the dresser a foot or so away. When I told Andrew about my precarious position, he asked if I could hold on just a little longer as he was almost there. After that, we made very sure we were always in the middle of his mattress. But that one incident always bothered me as it made me feel his pleasure was more important than our safety.

The second time we nearly got in trouble, occurred at my mother’s house. By this time I had moved back to mother’s house, as a live in job I had taken, had not worked out. We were in my bedroom going at it, when I heard my mother’s dogs start barking at something. When they persisted, I told Andrew that maybe we should check on the dogs to find out why they were barking so much. He said they were just barking as they always did and not to worry about it. Moments later, we heard mother’s husband, Bill, get up to check on the dogs then come back. Andrew got up just in time to keep him from opening the door and seeing us in our birthday suits. Bill yelled at us through the door about why we hadn’t checked on the dogs when they barked. Andrew made some excuse while I found my clothes and dressed. I was mortified to come so close to being caught doing something that almost surely would have gotten me kicked out of the house. I was also upset with Andrew for not listening to me - again.

In the later months of our relationship, a few things brought the reality of our relationship home to me and caused me to end it. One was our mutual friend, Kathy. Andrew became so enamored of her, that he often put her ahead of me on his priority list and no one thought anything of it, except me.

One Valentine’s Day, Andrew gave me a fancy doll and Kathy a handmade card. The doll was very pretty, but I didn’t understand why he’d bought such a thing for me. Again, I had never indicated a desire for dolls, fancy or otherwise. I would much rather have had the handmade card. No one understood that to me the handmade card was a more personal thing to give someone than an elegant doll bought in some shop. Although at that point, I would have resented anything Andrew gave Kathy; especially on Valentine’s Day.

Another time, I had a small accident with my car due to poor lighting, which caused a mechanical problem. The car was still drivable, but it swayed like something was out of place. I called Andrew to ask for help. He brought Kathy with him, and she drove my car while I drove his. I was really upset and asked that he ride with me. He told me he was going to ride with Kathy, as she was nervous about driving my car. Looking back on this, he should have driven my car, while I was a passenger and had Kathy drive his car.

The other thing, which really bothered me, was that Andrew and Kathy would go off somewhere to spend time together, but I wasn’t allowed to know anything about their whereabouts or how to get hold of him. Yet if we went anywhere, one or the other of them called to see how they each were. I finally told him that it had to stop. If I wasn’t allowed to intrude on their time, she shouldn’t be allowed to intrude on ours.

Then one day, on our way home, Andrew moved into a left turn only lane that led to the street Kathy lived on. I asked him where he was going. He told me he was going to check on Kathy. He also said that he’d asked me if it was “ok” and I’d told him it was. I made it very clear that I did not remember saying such a thing and I certainly did not want to go to her apartment for any reason. He insisted on going anyway.

The moment he parked, I started to get out of the car. He asked me where I was going. I told him I was going to walk home. He told me to get back into the car, so I did. I wish now that I’d told him where to go then walked home anyway. Or even gotten out of the car while he was at her door.

I didn’t break up with him then because I didn’t want to face censure from family and friends who thought we were so right for each other. I knew that mother’s husband, Bill in particular would think I was an idiot for breaking up with him and I didn’t want to hear it. I’d had enough of his lectures about what I’d done wrong at different times in my life. The last thing I wanted was him telling me that breaking up with Andrew was the wrong thing for me to do.