My roommate, David and I were talking recently about how God
has numbered the hairs on our head (Matt 10:30) and I suddenly realized what a
wonderful thing that is. God cares enough about us as individuals to keep track
of the very hair on our heads.
As I thought about that, we started talking about the movie
“Bruce Almighty” with Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman. The basic premise is that
Jim Carrey’s character, Bruce, loses his job and gets angry at God because so
much is going wrong in his life at that point. God (Morgan Freeman) succeeds in
getting his attention and then tells him that He, God is going to give Bruce
all His power. Bruce doesn’t believe it at first. Then when he realizes it’s true,
he is thrilled and at first does the kinds of things we’d all like to do if we
could. He gets revenge on people who’ve treated him poorly, upgrades his car,
etc.
Then one night while at dinner with his girlfriend, Grace
(Jennifer Aniston), he starts hearing voices. As a result he starts speaking
louder, even to the point of yelling, even though the restaurant they’re in is
quiet. He leaves and finds God to ask Him about the voices he’s
suddenly hearing. God tells him those are prayers and that they’ve backed up on
him because he ignored them. Not only that, but God had only given him
responsibility for a small portion of New York City.
This scene taught me something major and AMAZING about God.
I’ve known since I was a young girl that God knows what I’m thinking and
feeling. It used to bother me, till the day that I realized that if He already
knows what I’m thinking and feeling, I might as well say it. The really AMAZING
thing I learned from that scene though was just how much God has to keep track
of and sort out.
Think about it. God knows what’s going on in the hearts and
minds of billions of people on this planet at any point in the day. Not only that, but He can separate who’s
thinking or doing what. Let me say that another way. With all the billions of
people on this planet who speak thousands of languages, God knows who is
thinking and doing what at any time, yet He hears and responds to the faintest
cry for Him. Can you imagine? I don’t
know about you, but I can’t listen to two conversations at the same time, much
less several, but God hears billions of thoughts and conversations and even the
faintest, sincere cry for Him. How wonderful and amazing is that?
Another scene in “Bruce Almighty” helped me to understand
just how much God sees the individual need and answers us as individuals. After
learning that all the voices are prayers, he sets up a website/e-mail program
to help him answer the prayers. For a while, he answers each prayer on an
individual basis. After answering several hundred, if not several thousand, he
still has thousands of prayers to deal with. At this point he decides to “reply
all” with one answer – “Yes.”
What happens next is absolute chaos. So many people had
prayed to win the lottery, that when Bruce answered “Yes” to all prayers, they
all won a tiny amount. As a result, the people rioted and looted because they
were so angry.
This brought home to me just how much responsibility God has
and how much He can handle that we can’t. Really think about this. God hears
each and every one of us and responds to us as individuals. How amazing and
wonderful is that? He hears us and knows exactly how to respond to us whether
the answer is, “yes,” “no,” or “not right now.” That’s a lot of responsibility.
I don’t know about you, but I have my hands full just trying to deal with my
own life. There’s no way I could handle responsibility for billions of lives,
yet God does just that every day, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365/366 days a
year. He’s been doing that since He created Adam and Eve. Granted, it was a lot
easier when it was just the two of them, but He told them to be fruitful and
multiply, so He at least had some idea of what He was taking on.
For me, this brought home just how much responsibility God
has on His shoulders and how magnificent He is in being able to take care of
everything. This just makes me appreciate Him all the more.
Friday, September 18, 2015
One More Thought About Marriage
I realize that posting a poem may seem like an easy way to write a post,
but I read this poem many years ago and never forgot it. It's relative
to my recent posts about marriage and it's one I would recommend to
anyone even considering marriage. I know it as "A Woman's
Question" by Lena Lathrop, but recently learned the original title was,
"A Woman's Answer to a Man's Question."
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the hand above--
A woman's heart, and a woman's life
And a woman's wonderful love?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life
And a woman's wonderful love?
Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy,
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy?
As a child might ask for a toy,
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy?
You have written my lesson of duty out,
Man-like you have questioned me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.
Man-like you have questioned me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.
You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart to be true as God's stars,
And as pure as heaven your soul.
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart to be true as God's stars,
And as pure as heaven your soul.
You require a cook for your mutton and beef;
I require a far better thing.
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts;
I look for a man and a king.
I require a far better thing.
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts;
I look for a man and a king.
A king for the beautiful realm called home,
And a man that the maker, God,
Shall look upon as he did the first
And say, "It is very good."
And a man that the maker, God,
Shall look upon as he did the first
And say, "It is very good."
I am fair and young, but the rose will fade
From my soft, young cheek one day,
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mid the bloom of May?
From my soft, young cheek one day,
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mid the bloom of May?
Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.
I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give all this, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.
All things that a man should be;
If you give all this, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.
If you cannot do this -- a laundress and cook
You can hire, with little to pay,
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.
You can hire, with little to pay,
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.
Friday, September 11, 2015
Labor Day Weekend 2010
The Friday before Labor Day 2010 was a beautiful day. The
sun was shining and I was planning to go for a walk, but first I was going to
spend some time playing my then favorite online game, especially since they
were doing a double experience weekend for members only, which I was.
I went to another room of the house for a few minutes and as
I started to come back to my computer, something really weird happened. I was
suddenly short of breath, my throat felt tight and my lower back hurt. My first
thought was that maybe I was having a severe allergic reaction to something,
but I’m not really allergic to anything and I hadn’t been near any common
allergens, such as bees for days. That’s when I realized something else was
wrong. I decided to sit down for a minute and see what happened. Then I
remembered that when it comes to heart attacks, women tend to have very
different symptoms than men. I was sitting in front of my computer, so I did a
search. Holy Cow! I got over a million hits and as I scrolled through and
checked out a few, I realized that I could spend all day looking and not find
an exact match for my symptoms. That’s when I decided it was better to risk
making a fool of myself with 911 and emergency personnel than to potentially
cause myself serious problems.
So, I called 911 and the operator asked me what I needed. I
didn’t quite understand the question at first, so I described my symptoms and
she dispatched an ambulance to my house. The EMTs came in and checked me out,
then slowly walked me to the ambulance.
They took me to a local hospital ER and as I was laying on
the cot, it dawned on me that I was still in my bathrobe and nightgown as I’d
been too scared to get dressed. Then I realized that I didn’t have any way to
get home after I was done being treated for whatever was wrong. So, I used my
cell phone and called my brother and left a message.
While I was waiting to be taken care of, a nurse told me
that she thought that whatever was wrong with me was muscular. I looked at her
and thought, “No, it’s not. I know my body well enough to know this isn’t
muscular and I haven’t done anything in recent days to warrant that kind of
injury.” I got the impression that the ER doctor was having a
difficult time diagnosing my problem. Then someone decided to give me a nitro
glycerin pill. Those things are weird. You slowly dissolve it under your
tongue, but if it gets on your tongue, it tingles. However, it made me feel
better and that’s when I found out I’d be staying overnight. So, I called my
brother back and told him not to worry about me.
The next day, a man walks into my room and introduces
himself as Dr. B, a cardiologist. He’d been called in because of my heart and
wanted to do an angiogram. Basically, he wanted to insert a tube in my groin to
have a good look at my heart. I said that there had to be a less invasive way
to look at my heart. He said that an angiogram was the best way. I kept
insisting there had to be a less invasive way. He finally relented and said
he’d see who was on duty in the tech department. While he was gone, I called my
doctor’s after hours nurse and spoke with her. By the time he came back, I was
ready to let him do the angiogram, but he’d found someone he liked in the tech
department.
She brought in an ultrasound machine and used it on my
heart. I could tell by the way they were talking during the ultrasound that something serious was wrong
and at that point I’d have let him do just about anything he thought necessary
to take care of me. After the ultrasound on my heart, I was told not to eat as
they wanted to do a CAT scan as well. I was taken downstairs for that and when
it was over, was told I could eat. I ordered lunch and had eaten maybe two or three
bites when a nurse walked in and said, “Stop Eating!” in a loud voice. That’s
when I knew they wanted to do surgery and they wanted to do it ASAP.
The doctor came back into the room and explained that my
aorta was dissecting or separating like layers of a tissue. He wanted to send
me to a particular hospital, but my case was tricky, so it depended on who was
on duty there. He told me the other two choices and I gave him my preference.
The third hospital was the last place I wanted to be as they were part of a
large university and I’d had a bad experience with the dental school several
years prior. In the end, I ended up at the one I didn’t want because it had the
only doctor on duty qualified to do what needed to be done. An ambulance was
called to take me there.
When I got there, the surgeon told me that even when my type
of surgery is planned, it’s tricky. One in four people don’t get off the table
in my circumstances. I looked at him and said, “Okay,” and that’s the last
thing I remember till I woke up with a tube in my throat and straps holding me down. I
literally couldn’t move or speak. I heard a voice say, “Oh, good you’re awake”
and then she went to get someone. Turns out I was in the ICU. I have no idea
how long I spent in the hospital total after my surgery, but I’d say 4 – 5
days.
When I came home, I spent most days just sleeping or
watching TV. I literally did not have the energy to do anything else. I
couldn’t even sit at my computer for more than a few minutes without feeling
absolutely exhausted. This was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had
to go through medically.
I have healed well and do try to take better care of myself than I used
to before this happened. It acted as something of a wake up call, even
though my cardiologist thinks part of the problem was genetic.
I am immensely grateful for the people involved in saving my
life, not just the medical personnel, but for those of you reading this who
have donated blood at some point in your life. I learned that I’d been given a “six
pack of platelets” during my surgery. That means that it took six individuals
with their own busy lives who were willing to make time to donate blood to save
mine.
I also learned on my first follow up with the cardiologist,
Dr. B that it was a good thing that I’d insisted there had to be a less
invasive way to look at my heart. He told me that if they’d gone up the wrong
way, they could have made things worse. So, never be afraid to speak up if
you’re not comfortable with what the doctor is saying. It could save your life
or the life of someone you love.
P.S. One other good thing came out of this. I’d been home
for a short time when a former neighbor came by claiming to have a rebate for
some work he’d done for us over a year ago. I was still in my nightshirt that
day and he told me to get dressed and he’d me to get take me to the bank. I thought that
was odd as he’d never mentioned one at the time the work was done and rebates
are usually done by mail. I suspect he was hoping to get me somewhere by myself
in hopes of convincing me to move with him to where he now lived. I’d known
since long before he moved away that he was far more interested in me than I was in
him. When I told him that I simply didn’t have the energy, he said, “Why not?”
I pulled the neck of my nightshirt down and said, “I just
got home from having heart surgery.” Now, at this point I still had the
stitches in my chest, so it wasn’t a pretty sight. I don’t remember what he
said after that, but he quickly left. He came back the next day and told me
that he hadn’t been able to eat dinner and he’d had nightmares the night before. I
haven’t seen him since.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Sex in a Christian Marriage Part II
Continued from last week...
He claims that men may divorce their
wives for any sexual immorality. This includes withholding sex from her husband,
adultery, or having premarital sex. Women are only allowed to divorce their
husbands if they’re abusing her or not taking care to provide for her and their
children. Both genders may also divorce in a case of abandonment. He’s correct
in that the reasons specified are Biblical grounds for divorce, except for
abuse. The Bible does not mention that, but I don’t believe God would want
anyone to stay in an abusive relationship.
As for men being the only ones
allowed to initiate divorce for sexual immorality, I can’t buy into that. God
respects man’s cultural traditions and at the time, men often took more than
one wife even though that’s not what God intended. I believe that’s why divorce
for adultery was not an option for a woman, because men in the Old Testament
often had more than one wife. However, given that in later years, men only have
one wife, that means a man may actually commit adultery and that is grounds for
a wife to file for divorce. By the way, God did not intend for men to have more
than one wife. If He had, He’d have created Adam and Eve and Sue and . . . I
think you get the point.
I also think that given that the
Bible doesn’t tell us everything, God expects us to use our minds and make
decisions based on His word and good sense. This means that if the husband is
consistently not being a good husband, such as the church elder who puts his
family duties on his wife’s shoulders, then that’s emotional abuse and/or
abandonment and she should have the right to file for divorce; once she’s done
everything in her power to change things.
One last thought, I did find
scriptures that admonish husbands to love their wives.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands love your
wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
The blogger claims that’s about
holiness for the church, but I see more. Christ gave up his life for the
church. How many men would do that for their wives?
Ephesians 5:28 So husbands ought to
love their own wives as they love their own bodies. How who loves his own wife
loves himself.
He quotes this in one of his posts,
but doesn’t go into any details. Men, part of loving your wife is taking care
of her and not hurting her. A man who takes care of his wife the best he can,
will find that she wants to take care of him in return. As my roommate, David
often tells me; in marriage, everything starts with the husband. The wife is a
reflection of how her husband treats her. If he loves her and takes care of her
the best he’s able, she’ll reflect that in how she takes care of the home and
her treatment of him and their children. If he doesn’t, she’ll reflect that as
well as I wrote early on in this post.
Colossians 3:19 Men love your wives
and do not be embittered against them.
Again, men are admonished to love
their wives.
The other blogger does quote these
scriptures, but even then he doesn’t think women should withhold sex or
affection because a husband isn’t meeting his obligations to her. Given that
marriage is in essence a contract between a man and a woman to love, honor, and
cherish one another, I think a woman does have the right to do what she needs
to do to get her husband to fulfill his part of the contract if he consistently
fails to uphold his end. He advises women to submit to their husbands
regardless of what he does and to give her anger and bitterness to the Lord in
the hopes that it will change her husband. A woman can only handle so much
anger and bitterness, even with God’s help before something has to give. Crying
to God only goes so far when a man is unwilling to change. I believe that God
expects us to do everything we can, including talking to our spouse, getting
counseling with or without your spouse if necessary and pray for wisdom and
strength to endure. I also believe that there are limits to what we should have
to endure. I don’t believe God would want us as women to stay in a relationship
that will kill us at an emotional level and eventually could kill us
physically.
As I mentioned earlier, a man who
does not even attempt to meet his wife’s needs will breed bitterness and
rebellion in his own home. He also sets a bad example of what a husband should
be to his children, which perpetuates the problem.
One last thing, I knew a woman once
whose husband expected her to be busy all the time. If she took a break to read
a book, he’d ask her why she wasn’t doing anything. I visited her at home a
couple of times and her home was always orderly and she even told me that she
used to make crab apple jelly from the fruit of the trees in their yard. On one
visit, she and I were talking when her husband walked into the room. He worked
from home and was clearly in the middle of something. He never acknowledged my
presence, even though he walked right by me. I don’t think he even saw me. A
moment later he called her over to help him with something. He didn’t ask her,
he simply said, “Sue*, I need you over here.”
There was no question or, “Pardon me
ladies, but I need my wife’s help for a few minutes.”
It was a command. I didn’t see her
again after that partly because she attended a church that had thrown me out
and I didn’t want to potentially cause problems for her and partly because of
his attitude that day. The next thing I heard about her was that she’d gone
into the hospital and died. I was told that she’d told the nurses she wanted to
go home. It puzzled them as she was due to go home the next day. She died that
night. I believe she didn’t want to go back to the house with her husband, but
rather she wanted to go home to the Lord. Looking back on this, I strongly
suspect that she didn’t trust her husband to truly give her the time she would
have needed to recover from whatever put her in the hospital in the first place.
She was an example of the damage that can be done to a woman when a husband
does not take proper care of his wife. I know her husband remarried, but I
never met his second wife and he has since died as well.
*I changed her name, even though
neither she nor her husband are alive out of respect for her. I truly regret
never seeing her again, but at the time I did what I thought was best.
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