New Year’s Resolutions

 It’s that time of year again – the time when we all make some sort of “New Year’s Resolution.” A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook that when we make “New Year’s Resolutions,” we shouldn’t wait till New Year’s to act on them. He makes a good point. Why wait? I mean, most of us think about it ahead of time, so why wait to act on them? I think if we acted on them in little ways, then when it comes time to make the resolution or publicly declare it, we’d not only be ahead of the game on New Year’s Eve, we’d have a better chance of following through during the year.

I know that I’ve made a couple of resolutions that I’ve been acting on. One is to become primarily vegan. I know that conjures up pictures of granola eating, save the planet types. It’s something I’ve thought about off and on for years. In part because of what’s written in the Bible about diet. Man didn’t eat meat till after Noah came off the ark. I just couldn’t imagine giving up meat, eggs, and dairy. Now I can – most of the time. I admit I love beef. In particular, pot roast and steak. I don’t care about chicken that much, so that’s no big deal. The thing that really made me decide to go more vegan was the documentary, “Forks Over Knives.”

In it, two doctors specializing in two different health problems, living in two different areas of the country started looking at diet as a way to help their patients. What they discovered was that countries where meat is five percent or less of the overall diet, people were healthier. They had less incidence of cancer and heart disease. In fact, Switzerland had really high incidents of cancer and heart disease till Hitler invaded and took all their meat for his troops. Without meat in their diets, cancer and heart disease incidents became radically lower. Once he left, the incidents of cancer and heart disease went back up. Hearing that was enough to make me and my roommate decide to cut down the meat in our diet. The only “disagreement” we’re having is whether to use beans or tofu in place of meat. I like beans, but I know eventually we’ll tire of them, so we’ll see what happens. In the meantime we’re cutting our meat in half for some recipes and using beans in others.

Here’s a link to “Forks Over Knives: The Extended Interviews”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY_J6QDWRrs

Since we started going more vegan, I find that I like meat less, at least ground meat, such as hamburger, anyway. I’ve also learned that silken tofu makes a good smoothie. It also helps that when I’m fixing meals for just me, I eat primarily vegan.

I’ve noticed that on days when I eat vegan or primarily vegan/vegetarian, my weight trends downward. If I eat meat, it trends upward. This is good news for me as I struggle with my weight, which I know contributes to the health issues in my family. Both sides have/had diabetes and heart issues. My mother’s had cancer, though she’s in remission now. Thankfully, mother’s side has longevity, but if I’m going to live as long as some of my maternal relatives, I’d like to be as healthy as possible.

Another resolution I have for this year (actually, I’ve had this one for a while, just haven’t had the courage to test it) is to get on an elliptical exercise machine and workout for at least five minutes without getting my butt kicked. I got on one a few years ago while in Idaho for my maternal grandmother’s 90^th birthday (this is what I mean about longevity – she’s still alive and kicking). It kicked my butt in less than three minutes. Since then I’ve been trying to get regular exercise, but I don’t always due to things like colds. I’m getting better about being more consistent and intentional about working out, so I think sometime this year I’ll hit that goal.

Another resolution I have for this year is to get back to my Latin studies and practicing piano. I set them aside when I got really frustrated with the mess in my office. Not to mention some of the mess ended up on my keyboard and bench. Now that I’ve got all the cleared away and figured out how to use my time wisely, I can start doing both again.

My final resolution for this year is to finish the novel I started during “National November Write a Novel Month.” It also means sitting down to write daily, except for the days when we go grocery shopping. By the time we get done with that, I just have time to do dishes and call it a day.  I was unable to finish in November because I had to stop to make an outline. Not only that, but I had to make a list of character’s and who they are in my story. If all goes well, I’ll finish it by the end of March. I’ve learned that while some authors, such as Stephen King and Debbie Macomber, can go to their offices and write till they’ve hit a certain word count, I can’t. I usually have about three to four hours a day before I have to go make dinner. If I use a crockpot to cook, I get an extra hour. That makes it difficult to hit a high word count.

So, those are my resolutions. I’ve started working on them already. How about you? What are your resolutions? Feel free to share in the comments.

Why I Don't Go to Church

I ran this blog early on, but am re-running it for a friend of mine. We were hanging out this past summer and I was telling her why I don't go to church. She told me that I should write a blog about it. I told her that I already had. So, Erica, this is for you.

Going to Church

I used to attend church on a regular basis. When I was younger, I went to the same church for over 10 years. Then it imploded in a spectacular way. The church actually made the news. I suspect partly because it was so large, with over 2,000 people in our congregation alone (there were satellite churches in other states as well). By the time the church fell apart, I had quit attending due to things I saw and heard that didn’t seem right to me. I know now that God was trying to heal people’s hearts of the emotional wounds they’d received in their lives, but the devil managed to get in there and twist things around.  As someone I know pointed out, when God moves, the devil isn’t going to sit back and watch it happen.

After that church fell apart, I didn’t attend any church on a regular basis. I was too hurt and unsure where to go. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’d been fairly well indoctrinated that that church was “THE” church to be at and their rules were “THE” rules to live by. It took me several years to realize that there was a lot of legalism there and a lot of years to get past it and truly learn more about God.

I did eventually start attending a church that was held in one of the buildings formerly owned by the last church. After a few years, I started attending a second church on alternating Sundays with my roommate. It made sense financially to attend both churches in one car, rather than me attending one church all the time necessitating the use of both cars every other week.

Eventually, I got tossed out of the second church. My roommate and I had a meeting with the pastor and an elder after which, they told my roommate that he could attend church as long as he came without me. Why? I’m a woman, my roommate is a man and we’re not married, nor are we likely to ever be married. I was surprised at this, but my roommate was not. He told me that God had told him this was going to happen. So, we left and continued to attend the other church.

Before I go on, I should mention that the pastor at the first church we attended also knew that we were living together and were not married, nor likely to ever marry. He didn’t throw me out, but he did refuse to dedicate my son before the Lord. Dedicating a child before the Lord is a public acknowledgement of responsibility for the child and a promise to raise the child up in God’s way to the best of our ability as a parent.

The first church eventually fell apart due to financial reasons. According to the pastor, it cost a lot more than people realized just to turn the lights on every week.  

So, now I’m without a church again. I’ve actually tried attending a few and I’ve been reminded that the “church” is actually the people inside, not the building itself. This doesn’t mean I’m looking for a “perfect” church. I’m not. I’m simply looking for a church where I feel that God is free to move however He wants and people truly want to grow in Him. What I’ve found is people playing “church” or worse yet, coercing people to come to church.

Allow me to explain what I mean by the numbers, so to speak.

Church #1 This one had a woman for a pastor, which bothered me, but I attended as it was literally across the street and I was having problems with my knee at the time. It was Easter Sunday and my son and one of his friends came with me. The service started out with the usual music/worship and then they proceeded to do a special Easter Service. In this case, rather than having a large group of children/young adults do one play about Easter, they had every age from pre-school to high school on stage doing something for Easter. The youngest ones were supposed to simply quote some scripture, but you could see some didn’t want to be up there. The older children did more of a stage play for their part. By the time every group had given their presentation, I was thinking, “How many times and in how many ways can you tell the story of Easter?!” I truly appreciate the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. I just don’t appreciate having it retold to the point of feeling like I was listening to and watching a broken recording. It also made me wonder what my son’s friend thought about it, although he did ask me some good questions.

Church #2 I met an old friend from my former church (the one that imploded) and went with her to services at a couple of churches she attends. The first church was nice in that I saw and talked to other people I’d known from the same church she and I’d known each other at, but the more I attended, the more saw that they were fearful of end times. I understand that fear as I used to worry about it to the point where I’d pray, “Lord, if possible not in my life time please.” Then one day I realized that in saying that I was cursing the next generation or possibly the one after that. It dawned on me that the end times as written in the book of Revelation are going to happen and if I trust God no matter what happens He will see me through them.

Church #3 I went to one service at the other church my friend attended and was again delighted to see an old friend from the former church that imploded. When the music service started up, I was startled to feel like I’d walked into a jazz bar or coffeehouse. I learned after the service that the woman leading the music service that morning had been a jazz singer and had decided to dedicate her voice and talents to the Lord. That’s a wonderful thing, but I’d been taught that in those situations a person like her should have been part of the congregation till she’d walked in that decision for a while.

Church #4 I went to this church because my son attends with my mother and I thought it would be good to know what kind of church he was attending. I actually went to a couple of services, one on Sunday morning and one on a Wednesday evening. What really bothered me most was the music service felt like miniature Hollywood. One time there was a choreographed dance before the Lord, complete with matching outfits on the dancers. I don’t have a problem with dancing before the Lord as a form of worship when it’s spontaneous and comes from the heart. The other time the music ministry group was videoed and put on a big screen, which didn’t bother me a lot, until they did a close up of the leader. He wasn’t singing a solo that I recall at that point, but was simply part of the whole group. To me, that was a way of glorifying the leader, rather than God.

Church #5 I attended because I’d read their signboard in passing several times and thought it might be interesting. What I found was a church that was teaching very basic, foundational doctrine. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. This church has been around for several years and I kind of thought that by now there’d be more maturity. Not only that, but I hung around in the foyer/lobby area for several minutes after the service in hopes of seeing a friend that I knew attended that church. No one, NOT one person walked up to greet me.

The final two churches really stand out for me for very different reasons.

Church #6 This church is literally located up the street from me and therefore I could walk, which was nice. I stopped in on impulse one Sunday morning and got a huge surprise. The men sat one side of the church and the women and married couples on the other. Okay, I can live with that. The pastor was talking about dating that morning and I was in full agreement until he said that the problems in Jacob’s marriage were cause by Jacob’s lust, yes lust, for Rachel. That brought my thoughts to a screeching halt.

Jacob’s lust?! What lust?! Lust does not wait and work seven years to attain its goal. Lust yanks and pulls and demands instant fulfillment. Jacob not only waited and worked seven years for the privilege of marrying Rachel, he agreed to work another seven years for the privilege upon discovering that his father-in-law Laban had deceived him by sending Leah to be his bride. Laban’s deceit of Jacob was the cause of the marital problems in Jacob’s house.

At this point I decided to leave as soon as I could do so unobtrusively. During a break in the service, I got up and walked out. Only later did I realize that the men were filing out while the women puttered in their pews waiting for the men to finish leaving.

Church #7 The last and most recent church I visited, my roommate and I actually attended for three weeks. The biggest problem was something I learned after the first service. Another old friend from my original church (yeah, we’re pretty scattered; some of us live across the country now) came up to us after the service and greeted us. I was delighted to see him.

We talked for quite a while after the service and my friend told us that some of the people in the congregation were renting low income housing from the church. As a condition of renting the church housing, the people had to agree to attend at least one service a week. This truly bothered me. It bothered me so much that I finally told my friend that I thought the church was coercing people into attending service. He justified it by saying they had a choice about renting a house on church property.

I don’t agree. It can take months just to apply to get on a waiting list for low income housing. Then when you finally get on the list, there aren’t a lot of choices available.

More importantly to my way of thinking is that nowhere in the Bible do we see God doing something for someone and then demanding something in return. God says, “I stand at the door and knock…” Not, I bang on the door and demand to be let in.

Jesus spent his ministry sharing God and performing miracles. The only thing he ever asked in return was that they would not sin again. He never asked for payment or made demands. He simply did what God told him to do and let things happen as they would.

Why should we be any different?

I also heard the minister at the last church say, “God only asks us for one day a week.” In reading the Bible, the only things God says in relation to one day a week is for us to rest. He does tell us that we should not stop gathering ourselves together, but He doesn’t say how often we should be gathering. He never specifically said, “You must attend church one day a week.”

I really would like to find a church where the Spirit of God is free to move at will, but until then, I think I’ll skip going to church.

National November Write a Novel Month

It’s December, which means that National November Write a Novel Month is officially over. I did my best to write a first draft of a mystery novel, but I didn’t finish. However, I learned several things that will help me in the future.

When I first sat down to write, I thought I was totally prepared. Ha! I’d menu planned for two months so I wouldn’t have to stop mid-month to menu plan for December. I’d figured I wouldn’t get any writing done on Thanksgiving as I’d be busy preparing dinner. Turns out I didn’t get any writing done the day after, either. I was too wound up from something that happened the day before (don’t worry, no one got hurt).

I started out writing by the seat of my pants, also known as “pantsing.” While that’s fine for short stories, essays, and poems, it’s not so great for a novel. I quickly lost track of time in my story and lost my place. I was trying to figure out how to fix that when I saw a discussion in an online group in which the owner of the group wrote that an outline was essential for a novel. I hate writing outlines! I even said as much in the group, but after thinking about it, I realized he was right. Sigh! So, I took a couple of days to write an outline and quickly discovered two things. One, it really does help you figure out the story and keep track of things. Two, it helped me spot some flaws I’d written into my story. So, I guess from now on I’ll be writing outlines for any novel I attempt to write from now on.

There were days when no matter how I tried to sit and write, there would be other things that required my immediate attention. By the time I got done dealing with those situations, it was time to cook dinner. Argh!!

Even on days when nothing went wrong, I didn’t always make my word count. In part, because I was going back to cross out the parts I knew were bogging my story down. If I can just park myself in my chair to write every day, I’ll get something done. As long as my computer’s not on. Lol

In the past, I’ve used journals for my writing, as I like to write first drafts longhand. This makes it harder to “correct” or “self-edit” as I go. There’s the added bonus of the tactile feel of pen and paper, not mention watching things take shape as my hand moves across the page. This time I decided to try using legal pads. After all that’s what a lot of authors use. Now I know why. It’s so much easier to just flip the page over to continue than to write down one page, move the book, write down the next, then flip the page, move the book back over, and repeat. There’s also margins on legal pads, which makes it easy to write little notes next to things, such as, “need to look up. . .” It would also be easier to hold on my lap if I’m in a situation where I’m writing while on a bus or some other mode of transportation. So, I’ve decided to switch to legal pads for my novel writing. I’ll continue to use journals for personal journaling and blog outlines, but legal pads really are a better option for novels, etc. I’ve even considered using colored legal pads for outlines, then plain white ones for the actual writing of the story.

I also learned that having a cup of peppermint tea nearby is nice. It keeps me from having the excuse of “being thirsty,” to get up and go get something to drink. It also helps to have snacks handy. This way if I get hungry or feel like my blood sugars are getting low, I can just grab a snack without having to leave the room.

During this time I tried listening to a classical music station. The problem with that was that because I don’t normally listen to classical music, it was distracting. I found myself paying more attention to the music than my writing. So, I got my Ipod out and listened to some favorite albums I’d downloaded. Turns out the best choices where albums I was really familiar with. I’d get so involved with my story that the music would fade while keeping outside noises at bay, so that I wasn’t disturbed until my arm got too tired.

The best albums were as follows:

“If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher

“Hell Freezes Over” Eagles

“Greatest Hits” Pam Tillis

“                     “ Shania Twain

“Taking the Long Way Home” Dixie Chicks

Each of these albums lasts about an hour or so, I think. This means less interruptions to my creative process as I write. It’s always a pleasant surprise to pull myself out of my story and discover the album is nearly over, but I barely heard it after the first song or two. Occasionally, I’d write till the album ended, then I’d have to choose another one.

I realized part way through the month that as much as I love reading mysteries, I’d rather write historical romance. The fun of a mystery is trying to figure out who did it before the big reveal. You don’t get that when you try to write one, so this will probably be the only mystery I write – maybe.

I think maybe the best thing I learned was how to better manage my time. I’ve always tried to write in the mornings, but I’ve learned that it’s easier to take care of household tasks in the morning, then sit and write in the afternoons till it’s time to cook dinner. I wish I’d realized this years ago! Would have made my life easier. Well, as the saying goes, “live and learn.”

I knew when I started that I may not finish the novel, no matter how much I tried, but I figured if I learned things that would help me in the future, then it wasn’t time wasted. What I learned will also help me be better prepared for next year’s attempt. So, while I didn’t finish the novel in one month, I will keep working on it till I am done. I will take the lessons I learned and apply them to future writing.